TIME TO SAY GOODBYE

She stands on the cover of her latest album, Hymn, like a diva who just came down from Sinai with the word of God, but instead of 10 Commandments, the British Broadway, West End, and ersatz-pop star Sarah Brightman is wearing a tight golden dress — not unlike Cecil B. deMille’s version of an Egyptian princess — with her hands over her head holding a star aloft as it sends shafts of light out to calm and inspire your weary soul. Is this a pop singer or Aimee Semple McPherson?

With a three-octave range, Brightman’s ethereal childlike breathy pop sound — like an opera singer who inhaled helium or a Disney bird that swallowed a vibrato — isn’t offensive, per se, but this otherworldly Vangelis-on-steroids shebang (recorded in different studios for over two years) feels downright unnatural, including the distant-sounding chorus. The orchestrations are not only overly embellished, but everything sounds alike. With over-loud instrumentation that sounds as if it were mixed in a tin can (sometimes you can’t even tell which instruments are real and which are synthed), and an overtly religious title song about Jesus Christ, it all feels eerie, in the “Big Sister Is Watching You” vein. For her fifteenth album, producer Frank Peterson teaches how it’s possible to over-saturate greats like Mario Ennicone and Eric Whitacre as the selections bounce from pop to opera to retreads (the hit duet with Andrea Bocelli, “Time to Say Goodbye,” gets a solo turn here with lyrics that Sarah wrote in English herself!).

This style of singing, of course, made her perfect for the slightly nutty and ethereal Christine in ex-husband Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Phantom of the Opera, but crossover crap like this (Piano Guys, 2Cellos, La Brightman) is fast becoming tiresome, and only inspires me to put on anything that was recorded before 1970. Perhaps this is over-produced on purpose so the sound can sonically fill those stadiums where she is always a sell-out – and sells out tickets; apparently, inspiration can’t happen unless it’s pounded in your ears in a majestic production (her world tour started last week).

For those who love this music, I have good news: Brightman  has partnered with Swarovski on her world tour, enhancing her world of enchantment with elaborate costumes and dazzling tiaras that will be composed of Swarovski crystals (better bring sunglasses). Fans will have the opportunity to take home a sparkling memento through a variety of custom tour merch from Sarah’s signature product line designed and embellished with crystals from Swarovski. You can wear her outfits as her music makes you feel like you’re being beamed from an over-heating, over-crowded planet to an Edenic heaven where Sarah awaits looking like the front cover of this million-dollar tripe.

Hymn
Sarah Brightman
Decca Gold
13 tracks | 47:42 | released November 9, 2018
available on Amazon and iTunes